News

Coming soon from the ShyTalk Plumbing and Home Furnishings dept…

A new warning sign is due to be installed in all shopping malls, town centres, outside off-licences and Greggs bakeries.

Be warned, be ready…

We’ve just received another two photos showing the possible re-emergence of the now infamous Blue Pedro Club. One was spotted in Leeds and another in Weymouth, both locations associated with original ShyTalk members.

Could this be yet more evidence that there’s an official return of the Blue Pedro Club? Or are these just more ‘fan tributes’ to the ill-fated gatherings of the early 2000s?

We’d like to know if you or your child has actually attended a ‘Meaty Monday’ session (and more importantly if you were asked to trade your child for a bag of meat). Please get in touch if you can provide any info. We’ll treat any interviews with the strictest of confidence and your anonymity is guaranteed.

The Daily Mail have been doing it for years so we thought, why not?

Using a subtle blend of ethical hacking, social engineering and Lightning socket brute-forcing we were able to remotely access Noz’s phone and see the WhatsApp conversations he’s been having with the other ShyTalk members.

Most of it is far too shocking and controversial to publish. We did however find this little snippet. A valuable insight into their working process…

A promo pic for ShyTalk FC’s upcoming championship match against bitter rivals, Cemaes Bay Control Rods.

Consisting of original ShyTalk members (Jim, Noz & Stu) together with a select few friends and family members, ShyTalk FC exploded onto the scene in 2025. They rocketed to the top of the league after only one season with two members, Jim & Noz, even receiving special awards for ‘best at kicking’.

They’ll be defending their currently held title as champions in the Gagge & Ball Inter-County Grassroots Cup later this year.

We wish them luck…

One of the few things that wasn’t either destroyed or confiscated in the infamous police raid and subsequent fire at ShyTalk’s headquarters on the oil rig was Stu’s old notebook for show ideas. We were fortunate enough to have this sent to us recently by an anonymous donor.

Most of it is totally incomprehensible, just random letters, scribbles and lines. Presumably, this was some kind of code Stu invented to try and stop people from stealing his ideas (something he was unhealthily obsessed with in ShyTalk’s later years).

Here’s one page we found that actually made some kind of sense. It’s a shame that, as far as we know, ‘Competitive Butchery’ never actually made it as a sketch…

No-one here can work out what it’s meant to be. A unicorn? A magical pixie?

We’ve known about the ZX Spectrum version of ShyTalk’s notorious video game, ‘Jockey Wilson’s Tiananmen Square Challenge’ for some time now but never thought we’d ever get to see this.

We managed to pick up on eBay the near-mythical Sega GameGear version of the game, in mint condition (sadly no box) and working perfectly.

According to the legend, only two copies were ever made of this game before executives at Sega put a stop to further production for reasons of taste, decency and the company’s reputation.

And now it’s ours!

Right, excuse us while we get back to playing this fabulous piece of video game history. Those tanks aren’t going to stop themselves, you know!

We asked our favourite trio of emotionally stunted men (Jim, Noz & Stu) to compile a Spotify playlist of some of their favourite and most influential songs.

Stu flatly refused, stating, “I’m medically unable to recall any music I’ve ever heard due to my theatrical tinnitus. Anyway, I’m the creative genius here, not the fucking DJ”.

Thankfully, Jim and Noz were happy to oblige. We suspect it’s because it gives them the rare opportunity to force their questionable taste in music onto others.

And here’s the result: a genre-spanning mess of silliness, sonic extremes and room-clearers for your listening displeasure.

ShyTalk Radio’s Spotify Playlist

“We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name the following dirty things…”

Can you guess the pointless middle answer?